hope anchors the soul.

finally getting back into the ways of things.  It’s been far too long, but nevertheless I’m glad.

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About a month ago now, I had lunch with my favorite pastor, ever.  I say this, and I sincerely mean it.  I love Pastor Judah and Pastor Mark (I still like P. Mark more, just because God seriously spoke directly to me through him SO MUCH last fall, but P. Judah, and his seriously… paradigm altering, life changing messages these past few months… the margin is VERY slim between the two of them atm), but Pastor James Antonio Graham, will ALWAYS be my favorite.

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rewatching slumdog millionaire + the office + trying to beat my tiny wings high score..  = story of my life right now…

I don’t think I have said these words with the weight of the meaning behind them in a while.  But sincerely, thank you.  

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migraines 4 dayz….
literally for days… this started last night….  
oh fml, today please end sooooooon. 

beauty-for-ashes:

Jesus is constantly reminding me that He is in control, not me. So easy is it for me to forget this. It’s not about me or my agenda, its about Him and His glory.

I’m thankful that He won’t ever stop reminding me of this. May He etch this truth deep into my soul.

xvxavier:

If you’re a “nice guy” to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned you and how no girls date nice guys, like, nah mate, girls do date nice guys. You just aren’t a nice guy. You’re a passive aggressive beta with internalized misogyny and a serious victim complex.

These past few days, the thought of how much I’d give to fast forward 10 years or so has been going through my mind.  For a glimpse.  To see all the pieces fit together, all the situations work themselves out, and to see the beginnings of what You have in store for my life.  To see the novel, unexpected, but completely wonderful that will be coming my way, but to also see certain circumstances fade and shrink.  

I guess to some extent, even though I know that things won’t always be this hard and unpredictable, being able to say “I saw how the story ends, and this isn’t it.  It’s so much better than this.”    What I’d give to be able to say that.

But then, every day, God gently reminds me that the best really is yet to come.  That He’s already been there and seen how it ends, and this really isn’t it.  And even though I always forget that, I’ll gladly trust His word over my future over my own sight. 

gloomjune:

and you’re drunk, you’re a target. When you’re you’re friendly, you’re flirting. When you smile, you’re encouraging a guy. When you dance, you’re sending out signals. When you wear a short skirt, the only reason is that you’re signalling your availability. When you let a guy buy you a drink, you’re leading the guy on. When you let a guy buy you a couple of drinks, you’re made to feel like you owe him something. When you kiss a guy, you’re signing a contract. And then if you don’t want to sleep with them, guys look at you like, how dare you change your mind? Weren’t you so up for it before? You made me think you were up for it, what’s wrong with you? Why are you dressed like that if you’re not looking for sex? Why would you get that drunk if you didn’t want someone to take advantage? You’re kind of asking for it, you know, you’re in a club. Look at the way you were dancing.

But you know what? When you say no firmly without a smile or a giggle or a softening excuse, you’re a bitch, you’re frigid, you’re cold, you’re ugly anyway, you’re fat anyway, they didn’t really want you, you can fuck off, you uptight cunt.

So how do we win? If we’re nice, we’re leading a guy on, we’re asking for it; if we’re not nice, we risk outright aggression.

I’m a girl. It doesn’t mean I owe you anything.